Hi, I’m Chrissy!

I am a trauma-informed somatic coach and use a bottom up, body-based approach to healing and growth. This work has helped me to understand my life experience and my body, know that there is nothing wrong with me, and tend to myself lovingly without judgment. Somatic work has been very supportive in my own healing journey, and I feel called to bring this work to the world.

I’d love to share my story with you…

I AM NOT OKAY

In 2016, I started to admit to myself that something felt off. I thought my life looked perfect from the outside – I was engaged to the man I loved, working at a nonprofit whose mission was extremely aligned, my finances were stable enough, and I had enough friends to fill my social calendar. So why didn’t I feel happy and fulfilled?

At this point in my life, I was in the throes of a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol that included binge drinking coupled with overwhelming regret, embarrassment, and shame. I was still struggling with the eating disorder that I had since I was 13 years old, and I was filled with hatred and disgust towards myself. Many relationships lacked depth, and as a bride-to-be who was “supposed to” feel so loved by all, it became more apparent to me that I wasn’t feeling connected and prioritized in many relationships. The perfectionist and controlling parts of me were highly imbalanced and caused a lot of stress and anxiety. I also had a difficult time with conflict – saying sorry and admitting I made a mistake was so hard and I was overly defensive.

Things felt like they were crashing in on me – I remember crying on the living room floor after a few glasses of wine, and realizing for the first time that I was depressed.

Fast forward a few years, after the distractions of getting married and moving to a new state had passed, my partner and I were experiencing a particularly challenging time, and I could no longer handle it. I went into a dark night of the soul.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

For seven months, I could barely function. I would lay on the couch, not even motivated to watch TV, but just disassociated and experiencing suicidal ideation daily. I had tried the traditional routes of healing but nothing got better.

I couldn’t understand why things were so difficult for me. I grew up in a family where my parents loved each other and were still together, we didn’t struggle financially, went on family vacations and did fun things, I did well in school and went to a “good” college and got a “good” job. Sure, I experienced a few sexual traumas, but they weren’t that bad, I thought. I thought I moved past them. Best not to think about them, right? I had some anger around the way my parents handled certain situations, but what good was dwelling on the past? They loved me, that must have been enough. I was often told that I didn’t have anything to complain about and to just be grateful. So surely, something must be wrong with me.

I would discover later that I was gaslighting and invalidating myself, perpetuating the patterns I’d endured throughout my life.

PLANT MEDICINE MIRACLE

On a particularly difficult day, I stumbled upon how plant medicine can help depression. Over the next few days, ayahuasca called me so strongly that I couldn’t ignore it. I booked a retreat for that next month, not knowing what to expect, but hoping for the best.

It was a miracle. The retreat completely changed the course of my life. I returned home cured from my bulimia, never to force myself to purge again. I was inspired to deepen relationships with family members, my communication with my partner greatly improved, my drinking struggles were gone, I started playing the guitar, singing, dancing, and doing things I loved, and best of all, my depression seemed to be gone.

At the time, I thought I was “cured,” when in reality, it was just the beginning of my healing and my journey back home to myself. Though a lot was cleared energetically, I believe the plants gave me a glimpse of how good life could be to keep as my north star in the years to come.

ON THE HEALING PATH

Over the next few years, I explored all different kinds of alternative healing modalities and continued down the plant medicine path. Though life continued to improve, I still struggled with cultivating deep friendships and community, social anxiety, physical and emotional intimacy, and feelings of inadequacy and not enoughness. I also had tried out many different career paths and didn’t understand why nothing felt good for me.

I was also still puzzled as to what caused the struggles I had experienced in life.

NEW LEVEL OF HEALING

It wasn’t until I started working with a complex trauma specialist & couples therapist, took a nervous system course, and got certified in somatic coaching that I was able to access a deeper, more grounded and embodied level of healing and connection to myself.

Though I experienced a lot of denial along the way, I started to understand the complexity of my life experience and that many of my non-physical needs had not been met. My emotional needs had not been met, and I had not felt seen, heard, or accepted for who I truly was. I didn’t have a felt sense of safety in my body.

My body brilliantly adapted to the pain this had caused: she developed coping strategies to take me out of my body to avoid the pain that was too much to handle. She expressed anxiety and depression to communicate that she felt unsafe. She worked to get me love by doing and achieving. She tried to control my environment to predict and keep me safe. She was doing her best to get my needs met in the way she knew how. And though her strategies worked in the past, they weren’t serving me anymore; they left me feeling alone, misunderstood, and disconnected from my body, heart, and soul.

I also discovered that the sexual traumas that I thought weren’t affecting me were actually still stored in my body and affecting my physical health as well as intimacy with my partner.

SOMATICS CHANGED EVERYTHING

I started to learn about how my body had stored all my life experiences and developed internal narratives accordingly. Different parts took over and told me that I am not good enough, I am different and don’t fit in, something is wrong with me, I am bad, things will never get better, I am all alone, no one understands. The list goes on.

My conscious mind knew that these stories weren’t true, but it wasn’t until I got my body onboard that things came into coherence and started to truly resolve. I had read many personal development books, listened to spiritual podcasts, learned about my human design, and said affirmations, but what I didn’t realize is that while all of these things can be very helpful, I was stuck in my head. I had been missing this piece of working with my body in the way that she understands. I needed to show my body and communicate with her in her language.

Once I started working somatically and learned about my nervous system and worked to reshape it, got in deep connection with my body, and connected with my inner children and parts on a somatic level, the social anxiety slipped away. Making boundaries felt more comfortable and that it was honoring to myself to have them – an indication that my self worth had increased. My friendships started to deepen and feel more connecting and fulfilling. I was more okay with things being good enough, rather than perfect. It felt safe to admit my mistakes and say sorry. My defenses softened and I started to feel more trust in the Universe that everything is working out. I started to really understand my life experience on a whole new level.

I came to understand that my body is always communicating with me through sensations, emotions, thought patterns, symptoms, triggers, and nervous system states. It became easier to listen to what my body, soul, and heart are calling for.

And I am still on this journey! I work with my own somatic coach and am continuing to deepen my connection with my body and give it what it needs to heal.

LET’S EXPLORE YOU TOGETHER

I would be honored to journey with you as you deepen your connection with yourself and your body. I am here to be with you in your unique process, to support you in your vulnerability, hold the vision you want for yourself, be with you in all that arises, and remind you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you are worthy of the life you desire, and your dreams are possible.

We will go at the pace that is right for your body. Trying to change too much too quickly or force yourself into diving deep when your body isn’t quite ready can have the opposite effect of what you are desiring. Slower is faster! We build our capacity over time by working with the nervous system, this is the key to making the lasting changes that so many of us are desiring!

While mindset work is an important component, a somatic approach is heavily body-based. 80% of information travels up from your body to the mind, rather than only 20% coming from the mind down into the body. This is why it is so important to involve the body, because willpower and white-knuckling change isn’t sustainable and can often leave people questioning “What’s wrong with me?!”. It certainly did for me!

I AM HERE TO SUPPORT YOU

My intention is to empower you with the tools to be able to handle any life situation, make sense of your life experience, and support you in your healing journey. Supporting people in this way lights me up and I feel so grateful that my soul chose to come here to do this work. I would be honored to support you on your path!